An Old Video I Made About Being A Creative Dickweed.

Why do people in this business get such big heads? I can’t for the life of me figure it out.

When you think about it, in the old days we woulda just been the knuckleheads who carved the big tooth signs for the town dentist.

CUT TO AWARDS SHOW AT THE 1864 CANNES:

“Dude, I heard your tooth sign got short-listed!”

“You liked that? The whole sign as a tooth? Fuckin’ brill, right?”

“Yeah, but those dickweeds at Merchant’s Signs & Hitching Posts entered an incisor. Soooo  derivative.”

Yet to this day some of us seem to behave as if we’re Hemingway, Michelangelo, and Mother Teresa all poured into a Bottega Veneta suit and posing for photos holding a baby we just saved from a burning building.

But back in reality, where we get our mail, all we’re doin’ in this business is makin’ stuff like end-aisle displays. Okay, sometimes we get to hang our big tooth on the Super Bowl, but it’s still a tooth.

Go figure.

Yes, I know there is honor in every kind of job, including ours. I’m not trashin’ what I do for a living, just the people who make way more of what we do than they oughta.

So anyway, back in 1985 (yes, there were agencies back then) I made a stupid video for some ad club meeting. I thought, what if I could live for just a day as the most arrogant dickweed in advertising. My silly idea was “Ad Guy 007.”

It kinda sucks, but it sucks less than the long version I just cut it down from. Ad folks from my time might recognize Daniel Russ (I beat him up), Charlotte Moore (007’s Moneypenny), Jerry Torchia (as the Wrist) as well as John Boatwright and Andy Ellis (account guy and client respectively). Check out my groovy “cell” phone, too.

And now, bidding you adieu in the famous James Bond fashion, is your author. . . .

“Weed.”

“Dick Weed.”

[pro-player type=”mov” height=”500″ weight=”500″]https://heywhipple.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Ad-Guy-007.mov[/pro-player]

13 Comments

  1. As someone who was most effected by ads that contained the words “Hot Wheels” and “Thundercats” in 1985, I think it’s effing awesome that all of the jokes in this video completely hold up today. I was dying when the client asked for clarification during that pitch.

    I guess everything and nothing has changed. I think I take at least a little comfort in that. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  2. Dude, Nick Cage better watch his back…

    Reply
  3. hahahahahahaha. Account executive training…
    I have a video you did when FMR was moving from the 701 building too. Too funny. Keep up the good work “Mr. Sullivan”

    Reply
    • Hey Todd: please refresh my memory. What video did we make when we moved to the 701 building? I don’t remember.

      Reply
  4. Hahhahaha ” can we like make the logo smaller??” hahah i would pay to see a real client say that. Cool video luke.

    Reply
  5. Daniel should pay you to air this. He still had a lot of hair.

    I miss those ad agency days, some of the most fun years of my life. I wonder if Humphrey’s is still standing?

    Reply
    • Hey Teresa> Yes it is. I was in Richmond in May. Don’t think it is called Humphrey’s but it’s still there.

      Reply
  6. Now THAT was fuckin’ brill. Love it.

    Reply
  7. The account executive training session is a classic. Just edit that segment, throw it on you tube and you got yourself a viral hit, Mr. Wad. I mean Weed.

    Reply
    • Yo Mickey: Glad you liked the AE training course. We stole that idea from some cartoon we found scribbled on a napkin. DOn’t know who came up with it. We just stole it and filmed it.

      Reply
  8. Typo! 1885 -> 1985 :p

    Reply
    • ACtually, I MEANT 1885. But I see the confusion because the video was made in ’85. Am changin’ it. Thx.

      Reply
  9. LOL – great stuff, agencies haven’t changed much since 1985…

    Reply

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Luke Sullivan

Author, speaker, and ad veteran available to recharge, reinvigorate, and refocus marketing, advertising, and branding firms.

I give a hugely energetic series of presentations on innovation, creativity, branding, and marketing. I spent 32 years in the trenches of advertising (at agencies like Martin, GSD&M, and Fallon) and I’ve put everything I learned into my book, Hey Whipple, Squeeze This. But for me nothing beats taking the message out and speaking to living breathing audiences at clients, agencies, and conferences. You can book me on the button below.

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