Change is rocking the advertising world and creatives with old-world skills like digital are out on the street. The smart money is on Whacky Arm-Flailing Inflatable Tube Men.
Such was the theme last week, at Austin’s prestigious “South-By-South-WHACKY -ARM-FLAILING-INFLATABLE-TUBE-MEN Conference” where futurists crowded Sixth Street for a first look the next advancements in Inflatable Whacky Technology.
“Just look at the godamned thing!” observed retailer Joel Davis. “Don’t you SEE what it’s telling customers? It’s saying…. ‘Hey, look, I’m flappin’, I’m…..uh-oh,….I’m tippin’ back ….I’m tippin’ further back!…..and now…..I’m standin’ up again!’”
Its hypnotic undulations coupled with the wallet-emptying power of the flailing arms is so powerful, in fact, that some pundits worry about the misuse of the Whacky Inflatable Tube Man technology.
Said one, “Can you imagine a drug dealer putting one of these babies up? Dude, if I see you’ve put one up …. I don’t care how boarded up your house is, I don’t care how saggy your front porch is, I want a deal on some crack and I’m’a comin’ in.”
From his think tank on K Street in D.C., Mike Lear worries that even elections could be swung, … could be swung to the left, …. even more to the left…..whoaaaaa…and then watch out! back to the right….all based on the persuasive power of these mesmerizing Rasputin-like retail juggernauts.
“But the genie’s out of the bottle now,” opines Lear. “It’s a power we’re just going to have to use responsibly. Obama may have harnessed the web. But if George W. Bush had used the power of Whacky Arm-Flailing Inflatable Tube Men? Who knows?
“And somehow, I think it would’ve been perfect for him.”