Okay, so I’m watchin’ Alien, right? Classic movie.

And I’m at that part where John Hurt keels over sick, right? And they lay him on the table. And then…and then…just when I’m ready for the alien to pop up out of his chest, some stinkin’ ad pops up instead, down on the bottom of the screen advertising a bad TV show. So now, instead seeing of a toothy alien spattered with gore, I’m taking in this horrifying image of the New Jersey Housewives.

Being in the advertising business, you’d think I’d be more forgiving about these ads; that I’d understand how ads-pay-for-the-content-I’m-enjoying-bah-blah. No, this is different. When the ads invade the content, when they appear on top of my movie? Dude, that’s way different than cutting to a commercial. That’s like a fat guy in the theater seat in front of me standing up and shoutin’, “HEY, CATCH UP WITH THOSE GOSSIPY, EYE-SCRATCHING WHORES IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF ‘NEW JERSEY HOUSEWIVES!’”

Hey, TV-programmer-guys? C’mere.

Listen, uh, can we draw the line at invading content? Seriously. Otherwise, what’s next? I’ll be reading Dickens’s Tale of Two Cities. “It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. In fact, it’s Miller Time!”

No. Okay?

Just, … no.

In fact, while we’re on the subject, I feel the same way about cinema ads. Here I’ve just paid $9 for a ticket and a little over $400 for a small popcorn, and I wanna see content, okay? Trailers, movies, either one, but not ads.

With maybe one exception.

If there could be a really good creative director in charge of which commercials were allowed to play in theaters, maybe I’d think about it. You’d couldn’t just buy the media. You had to apply for it. And only entertaining, viral-worthy spots ended up on the silver screen. Which would be cool because … [–ADVERTISEMENT: Tired of the boring blogs? Want to read a good one? Try Mashable today! END ADVERTISEMENT–]…never mind.